November 6, 2007

Will the Police Department Hire Me?

Why do they mess with me?

I busted a kid for cheating in less than 5 minutes today. He tried to pass off an assignment another student submitted last week as his own assignment. (I wasn't really taking it late. The student claimed that the original empty document he sent to me electronically was a mistake, so I gave him the chance to produce the assignment immediately.)

I bet all the kids are wondering how I immediately knew that the assignment he submitted wasn't his work. It was a graphic organizer created in Inspiration, so it could possibly look similar to his classmates.

Here are some clues Detective HappyChyck gathered:
  • Student approached me at the beginning of the class and asked what the missing assignment on his grade was. We spent 2 days in class working on it last week. How could he not know what it was?
  • After the student learned from his classmates what the assignment was, he was convinced that he did the assignment. Oh, really?
  • I check my electronic in-box, which jogged my memory. He had turned in an empty document. Common kid ploy. They hope that I'll just check off the list off assignments by looking at their names in the file names and not actually open and check the assignment. Is it possible he was trying to dupe me, or was it a technical error?
  • I told the student if he could show me the completed assignment on his computer, I'd accept it. He said he threw it away. If you ever look at these kids' computers, they look much like their backpacks. Funny how when they need an assignment, they've just cleaned and thrown things out. Up until that moment they are teenage pack rats.
  • A few minutes later the student tells me he's found the file on his computer. He brings it to me to look at, and he says, "Here it is. See, here's my name." He is talking about his name labeled on the inside of the document. Thanks for showing me that you put your name on your paper, kid. That's not weird at all.
  • The assignment is very well done. I'd even say it's an A paper. The kid is not an A student. We're talking lacking ability here. I accepted the assignment from the student, but I looked up the assignments from his nearby friends. None of them turned in the assignment.
  • Not many people earned a solid A on the assignment. I looked up the students who had a perfect score on the assignment. The girl who sat one row over and two seats back had a perfect score. Bingo.
Their heads are probably still spinning. Did you see how fast I discovered your cheating ways, children? Still wanna mess with me? I guess it's time for me to tell the story of the time I benched (or rather their actions landed them on the bench) half the baseball team because they were a bunch of cheaters.

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