The Uncool Mom

It's not that the slumber party was at all terrible. Overall, I'd say it was a huge success. I just hate having so many invaders in my home, and after the incident with the girl drama within the first two hours, I was on edge waiting for more drama to surface. I mean, 12 year-old girls cannot help but bring drama. How I remember from my own youth!

My friend, Heidi, was my saving grace. She texted me early yesterday afternoon asking when the party was. I had considered asking her to come hang out, as I knew she would be home alone for the weekend, but I thought she wouldn't possibly be that bored. Of course, being the lover of children that she is, and the overall fun spirit, (and she brought wine), she was the perfect person to have over while the girls were off doing whatever.

Seriously, I am not even sure what the girls were doing half the night. Well, I mean, I do know, but it boggles my mind how they could play Just Dance 2 on the Wii for six hours. We compelled them to come downstairs for food a few times, but seriously, were they really locked up in the family room dancing that long without food?

Oh, yeah, they did have the giant tub of toxic cheese zombie snacks that my daughter convinced me to get against my better judgment. It was the allowed food upstairs, along with water (Remember, I have issues with sticky messes, and at home this means that children under 18 cannot leave the kitchen to eat or drink. A rule that makes sense to me but befuddles most people I know.) But when there was other tasty food and sweet drinks downstairs, the draw of the Wii was more compelling.

Or it could be that we adults were downstairs. Even sweet Heidi did not impress them much. (Although she did weasel a confession from one girl that she did not like the Silly Bandz as much as the other bracelets everyone is wearing because rumors were going around that they were made our of old condoms. Ah! Thanks for the laugh, kid!) And if you asked our students, they would wholeheartedly agree that she is the nicest and coolest of all of us. (She's not pushover, though.) One of the girls in attendance, whose mother is a friend from work, was excited to see her and ran up to her right away for hugs, but the rest girls who did not know her could not be convinced of her level of coolness at all.

Anyway, back to the adults are uncool thought...I had the feeling that we were unwelcome, and I gave them space and reprimanded my sweetie for harassing them, although it really is his job as dad to freak them all out. Two incidents really drove the point home that we were not welcome in their little world, which, incidentally was a world located in my inviting home.

My sweetie grilled up some chicken on skewers, and because we have more chairs for outside and it was a beautiful evening, we set lawn chairs outside. I thought they might like to chill outside for awhile, but after quickly eating, they went back inside, and locked the patio door, leaving us outside. Perhaps it was a joke, but still...we adults did not react too much: Heidi and I were working on wine and shrimp, talking about her trip to Africa for the World Cup this past summer, and my sweetie was still slaving over a hot grill. We were enjoying the evening. Before they shut the door, we'd also been enjoy some Taylor Swift on the player, but we were denied that joy, too.

We did ask them unlock the door and leave the screen open so we could enjoy the music and get some air into the house, too. (Finally, it's the time of year where we can have the doors open!) When the girls were outside, we had tried to engage them in a little conversation, as people in polite society might, but perhaps they took it as their own grilling session.

Not long after we had to get on them after the 2nd time they locked the door, not because we wanted in, but because we wanted the door open, they wandered back up stairs to return to the game.

After Heidi and I picked up the kitchen a bit, I decided I should go take some pictures of them playing upstairs. You know, some memories for the scrapbooks? I was going to use some sneaky yearbook adviser technique, and quietly turn the knob to see if I could catch them unaware. It's not that I thought they weren't playing Wii, I mean I could hear them, but the door was LOCKED. Locked?! The door didn't even need to be closed. We adults were hanging in a different part of the house. Paranoid, much, girls?

I knocked on the door, and one of the girls, whom we adults had already pegged for being the mean girl of the group, opened the door with a "What?"

How lucky that child was that she lived! I didn't say anything. I remained silent for a moment and gave her the stink eye. I felt Heidi stiffen behind me. In our world, the world where we've been through hundreds of these little twits, we deal with disrespect stealthy. It's different though. This is my home. But you know, the classroom is my turf. I rule it. My home? Still my turf.

The girl back-pedaled a little, and I think my daughter helped her, and as we entered the room I said, "We have left you alone most of the night, haven't we? There is no reason to lock the door. If something happens in here, and I have to break down the door to get to you because you've locked it, there will be hell to pay."

My daughter knows it's true. She didn't know what the hell would be, but I am pretty good at thinking of good ones. That she does know.

And then Heidi and I took up our places on the couch for the next 20 minutes until we got bored watching them.

I could have stayed all night. Hahahahaha! But after we heard all the good songs we could stand, and after I saw a techno version of "Satisfaction," I definitely had to bail. Ick. I thought I was being the cool mom by leaving them alone, and when we were in their presence, Heidi and I tried again to relate to them a bit. Nope. Uncool to the max.

I'm much better at this in the classroom. There are kids who constantly want my attention. Many of them are interested in my stories. At home, I guess I'm just destined to a piriah to all the teenagers who cross my threshold for the next decade.

It sucks being over 30.