A Yearbook Rant

How long should it take you to do a page? One page. One. That's about five pictures and their captions. And what goes in that text space? I don't know? What's the feature of your page?

I know you have developed amazing talent as a designer since you joined yearbook this year. That's why when everyone worked on designing layouts, yours was not chosen to be used. Don't worry, though. You and your other middle school friends can continue to use your amazing talents on your MySpace pages. So, when I make it easy on you (and me), just use the layout that I give you. Don't delete elements. Don't change the color. Don't change the font. This page does belong to you, but there are rules to follow. Why don't you take your supreme creativity and use it with your photography?

You wanted so badly to do your page, but it does require a little creativity. We could be like other middle schools and just have portraits and club/organization pictures. We do have limited space. And we've chosen to include student life features. Remember? That's the cool stuff everyone has enjoyed seeing the last few years? You joined the staff. This is what you've been living for. Step up already. Don't ask me a million questions about what you should do. Don't be so co-dependent. If I don't like it, I'll tell you. Or if you're lucky I'll be so glad to be done with all this that I'll let it slide even if it's only okay instead of brilliant.

You had so many great ideas at the beginning of the year. Where are they now? Yeah. That's a great theme you've chosen. How about thinking outside the box and not simply repeating it on each page. Again. Creativity. Maybe a thesaurus?

Creativity isn't putting yourself three times on your page either. Again. This isn't MySpace. It's the yearbook. You want to be in the book? You are on the yearbook page. That's right. We have a whole page to ourselves in a 72-page book. Pretty cool, huh? Since I'm doing the page as a gift to my dear staff, and I haven't submitted it yet, I suppose I can just take all the pictures of you out.

Yes, that's right. I'm doing a page. I've done a lot of pages. I'm probably going to have to do your page, aren't I? What if I just put a big title that says, "(Your name here) did this page. That's why it sucks!" Yes I would dare. Okay, I won't. My reputation is on the line, too.

So, anyway, don't be a hog. You're in the book. You probably haven't even purchased your book yet, have you? What about your closest friends that you keep trying to put in the book although they are already in it? How about going out and meeting new people? I know your world is small, but there are 1295 other students that this school.

You know that kid who sits in the corner reading obscure books all year long? Yea, well, he's done eight pages to your one. I know his job was pretty easy because he just had club pages, and it's mostly just group pictures--but typing all those names! He did have to go take some pictures, but he did that and placed them already. Sure, he screwed up a few, but then he went out and took more. The point is he has been working diligently and is almost finished. Oh, and you know what else he did? He followed the directions given him. You know, I felt sorry for him because nobody else wanted those pages, so I was going to help him, but he has barely needed my help at all.

You. You need help.