Do You Know How to Eat Chocolate?

One of my students gave me a box of chocolates today. She seemed a little reluctant: "Well, Happy New Year, but I think these chocolates taste HORRIBLE. Adults seem to like them, though."

Is this one of those "Ew! This is gross! Here, taste it!" scenarios? No, it's a box of dark chocolates.

I'm not a chocolate snob. I'll take it any way I can get it, but I do have to admit that sometimes I'm not desperate enough to eat a a good ole American chocolate bar found at any convenient store. It's never as good as I think it should be, and then I've just wasted my calories, fat, and life on something that wasn't satisfying.

Needless to say, I'm not at all disappointed with this "horrible" box of chocolates. Of course, I had to learn how to eat the chocolate correctly. I can't believe I am so low-brow that I needed instructions on how to eat chocolate, but just in case any of you need enlightenment, here are the exact directions that came with my chocolates:

1. Warm up the chocolate in your hand without unwrapping it; cold chocolate cannot express itself.
2. Unwrap the chocolate and observe it carefully; it must have no spots or imperfections and its color must be all alike. With it's shininess it is a pleasure for the eyes as well.
3. Hold the dark chocolate square between your fingers and smell it; the dark chocolate squares intense fragrance is the second gift your senses will enjoy.
4. The ritual wants that you keep the square at the center of the tongue, intact, while encountering the palate until the dark chocolate square melts, slowly.
5. The chocolate becomes supple, while the wide variety of flavors expands itself. In silence the sensations will redouble theirselves: you will savor the strength first, then the variations, finally the persistent aftertaste.
6. Now that it's almost all gone, you will be able to tell what a real pleasure it all was.
7. At this point you can start all over again. Enjoy the dark chocolate squares!
   

I have to admit that the the Dominican Republic Chocolate with 80% Cocoa Solids is a little stout for me, but you know, when it comes to chocolate, and say even beer, training your palate to enjoy bitter stoutness certainly isn't torture.