November 6, 2006

The Custody Battle

I try to ignore a lot of the adolescent shenanigans that go on in my classroom. When I think too closely on some, I think to myself, "Why the *%&% am I teaching middle school?"

There was some sort of "legal document" floating around one of my classes today. It had some sort of statement that so-and-so would do something or another. There were signatures. It looked pretty official-looking for being written on notebook paper. (Funny someone didn't type it up since they all have laptops.) I don't know what it was. Don't really care. I just saw it on various desks throughout the period. I didn't confiscate it because, quite frankly, if they weren't trying to hide it from me, it probably wasn't that interesting.

At the beginning of the class, I confiscated a teddy bear. I had half a mind to do it when I saw it come in the door, but I let it go until I saw it go flying through the air just before the bell rang.

Some minutes into the class I asked the girl who was trying to catch it whose bear it was. She was not the one who carried it into class. It was a boy. She told me it belonged to another student--a female. Whatever. Who knows how these bears get passed around?

At the end of the class, I told the supposed owner of the bear to get it from under my desk and to make sure I didn't see it again. She didn't seem relieved or highly attached--just okay with it.

The boy who had brought the bear to class in the first place walked back into the classroom and saw her with the bear. A little argument ensued about who should get "custody" of the bear. Then she threw it in his face that he was a child abuser. Or rather a bear abuser.

It seems there was a divorce going on with my students today.

It also seems that I was unwittingly an agent of Child Protective Services.

Just another damn thing, aye?

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