Rites of Passage

One of the units in the Spanish class that many of my students take is about rites of passage. Of course, learning about the quinceañera is rite of passage that kicks off this idea that many, many cultures go through rites of passage.

Although my students may not fully realize it, they are going through a series of passages themselves this week as they end their time in middle school. This past Wednesday, we had awards night to celebrate our top students. Friday was the semi-formal dance for 8th graders only, and on the last day of school, after we usher all 6th and 7th graders off campus, we'll celebrate 8th graders being promoted to high school in a short ceremony in the gym.

All of these occasions give students opportunities to dress in their best clothing, something that shows more style than their standard blue and gray polo shirts. With the boys in combed hair and pressed shirts and the girls in their impossibly high heels, I start to image what they might look like four years from now as they graduate high school--or sometimes I even imagine them after college in their successful careers and as caring parents to small children. I'm no fortune teller, but sometimes I feel as if I can see the people they will become. It's pretty exciting!

Some of the students do not realize what a special time this week is for them. Many had no desire to attend the dance, to wear something nice and spend time with their friends. A few are balking at having to attend the promotion ceremony, which is also optional. I'm sympathetic to their feelings on this time, as I am not the type of person who enjoys a big to-do either. Perhaps these moments are partially for loved ones to celebrate the rites of passages for our young ones. If nothing else, I do hope my students are reflecting back on their time--briefly--and looking forward to the adventures that await them.

I know that middle school completion is not that big of a deal. Seriously, what does completing middle school get a young person? Not much. A ticket to high school? Uhm...wahoo? Oh, for most of my students, their success in middle school has opened opportunities to better high schools, but ultimately, finishing middle school is really not that big of a deal in the scope of life.

If we're talking about the scope of life, the long road, the journeys, the quests, why celebrate the little successes along the way? Why not embrace the celebrations?

I know some of my students balk at the idea of this week being a rite of passage for them, while others are too well aware, and maybe a little more freaked out or emotional than usual. Whatever it is to them, I hope they will accept the handshakes and hugs and just enjoy the moment.

Wits and Knowledge

I was so looking forward to these three weeks of solid instruction between Thanksgiving Break and Winter Break, as the month of November is always a gigantic, fragmented mess. You would think that I would have been more prepared, but no, I've been flying by the seat of my pants. Luckily, these pants were made for flying.

What? You say it's only Tuesday? No matter. I'm going day by day. Tomorrow I'll be super prepared because this afternoon, I pulled the PowerPoint and support materials onto my desktop for easy access, as opposed to searching for it in my 20-gig drive 10 minutes before class, like I've done the last two days.

Ah, hahaha, I'm not really that bad off. I did sit down with the other English teacher during one prep last week so we could write our lesson plans, but sometimes writing them is not enough. Sometimes other preparation is necessary--like reviewing the material to see I truly remember it myself.

And that's where the winged trousers come in. I have had no time to study what I'm going to teach. How pleased I was to realize that with a PowerPoint outline (created some time in the past) and a stout cup of coffee, I was more than capable of lecturing to my students yesterday and giving guided practice today. With all the breaks and madness of the last month, it felt good to just teach. In fact, the last two days, I'd say I was in the zone.

(I hope my supervisor felt that vibe when she came in for her first (surprise!) observation yesterday!)

Effin Part 2

A few days after confiscating bracelets from Marcos, which I took to the Dean's office just in case Marcos's mother wanted to pick them up, I was cruising the aisles of my classroom looking over student work, when I spotted a bright red bracelet with the letters STFU.

What is with these students?

These aren't even my hard-core high schoolers. This are my middle school students. It's the first month of school. They usually stay innocent until at least Valentine's Day. (Or so I like to believe.)

"Stephanie, you need to take that bracelet off." It was rather ironic that she had such a bracelet. I'm pretty sure I'll be screaming the words of that acronym to her--in my head--by the time the year is over.

"But, Miss--" she tried to look innocent.

"Save it. I know what it means." As she slipped it off her wrist, I gave her the low-down, "Take it home, and never bring it back. If I ever see it again, it will be mine."

How smart would she be?

The next day, I was heating up my lunch in the workroom, and I glanced into the Spanish classroom. There was Stephanie with her red bracelet on. I walked into the room (the teacher is a close friend, so it's okay), straight to Stephanie with my hand out.

"Give me your bracelet. I told you yesterday not to ever wear it again."

"But, at least it doesn't actually say the words."

I stood with my hand out. Eyebrows raised: Stink Eye activated.

Blah, blah, blah. She gave me some lip before surrendering it.

"Can I get it back?"

"You mother can. From the Dean."

I took it directly to the office. The way she was acting, I thought her mother might actually pick it up.

As I handed it to the dean, labeled with the student's name, I said, "This is the third inappropriate bracelet I've confiscated in the last week."

The dean looked confused.

"You know what this means, right?"

Blank look.

Not censoring for him, I said, "It stands for Shut the Fuck Up.'"

He recoiled a little when I said it.

Exactly my point.

(Sorry, Dad. Sometimes you have to tell it straight.)

Effin Part 1

Marcos raised his hand to ask me a question, but I was too distracted from the words that I thought I saw on his silicone bracelets to pay attention. I squinted at him, trying to focus on what he was saying and while looking at the lettering on his bracelets.

Surely. No. It couldn't be.

"Marcos, just come here," I motioned him over to me. He asked his question. I answered. I was too distracted by my own agenda.

I pointed to his bracelets, "What were you thinking? You can't wear those! Take them off. I should take them, but you may put them in your pocket. If I ever see them again, I will take them and cut them into tiny little pieces."

You see, he had two thick silicone bracelets that said, "F*ck You." (censored for my dad)

He was irritated at having to take them off, but he shrugged off my reaction like it was no big deal. That ratcheted my irritation.

"It is so disrespectful! You raise your hand, and what's the message you're sending to me from your jewelry? What did I ever do to you? You know, I saw a woman with a shirt that said that once, and I instantly wanted to punch her. I'm a peace-loving teacher, but her t-shirt provoked me. Why do you want that reaction from people? It's not at all funny. Nor is it charming."

Several of his classmates were staring at him like he was an idiot.

I wanted to tell that disrespectful little boy to F-off himself.

He (and I) was lucky the bell rang for the next class.

I had my doubts about how I handled it. I probably should not have told him how I wanted to punch someone who had delivered the same passive aggressive message to me before. Mostly, I was pretty sure I should have simply taken the bracelets. It's just that I hate taking student possessions.

Two period later, I spotted him in French class with the bracelets on. He had the better sense to turn the words inward, but I did tell him if I ever saw them again, I would take them. So I did.

The Locker Game

Poor Mrs. Bluebird, whose school started this week, has blogged about her school's locker woes. Besides dealing with the anxiety of nervous students who cannot figure out how to open locks, the the teachers at Mrs. Bluebird's school also have to deal with lockers are too old and tired to cooperate with students.

Locker Drama! The crazy things we teachers have to deal with besides teaching...

At our old school, we did not have enough lockers for students, so they had to carry everything with them. That situation was fraught with its own drama. At our new school, we have new lockers, but to prevent shenanigans in overcrowded, narrow hallways, students can only visit them before school, before and after lunch, and after school. Our locker drama is keeping kids out of them during the other passing periods.

The rule about staying out of lockers is serious, but many students believe that rules are made to be broken. In fact, for many of them, getting away with breaking the rules everyone else has to follow is a fun game.

The Locker Game

Objective:
Remove or place an item in the locker without getting caught.

Game Play:
Obviously, you need a reason for accessing your locker. It does not matter if it's real or critical. Just know your purpose.

If you get caught while the locker is open, the teacher may or may not let you get the thing you were trying to get, depending on teacher and mood. Whatever the outcome, try again next time.

Point Values:

+1 Access locker without getting caught for a forgotten textbook or assignment.

+3 Access locker without getting caught for the textbook or assignment you intentionally "forgot."

+1 Access locker to take or put away your jacket.
+1 if jacket is not dress code

+1 Access locker to put away textbooks you don't want to carry.

+2 Access locker to retrieve or put away gym clothes.
+1 if the clothes are not in a bag
+2 if the clothes are dirty/smelly

+1 Caught accessing locker but get off with a warning and mission completed.
+ 2 if you really didn't need to get in your locker
+ 1 if you told a story that wasn't exactly true

+4 Caught accessing locker, close it, and walk away while teacher is reprimanding you.

-1 Caught accessing locker before the door is open.

-2 Caught accessing locker but have to close it before completing mission.
-3 if the item is in your hand, but you have to put it back.

Strategies for Winning:

Set your combination so you just have to turn to the last number on the dial. Because the lock will automatically open when you reach that last number, this will save a lot of time, but do not let others see you setting up your lock for the quick open because they can quickly open your locker, too.

Although physically dangerous, open your locker when the hall is most crowded. The teachers cannot get to you.

Get 3-5 of your friends to gather around you to hide the opening. Make it quick, though. Groups of students standing around draw attention.

Make sure the item is ready to be grabbed. You do not have time to search your backpack for your "forgotten" textbook. Leave it on top.

If you are putting something in your locker, shove it in forcefully, pushing your whole arm into the back of the locker. If even a backpack strap falls out while you are closing your locker, you may not be be able to open it again. Jammed locker? You lose.

Game play ends June 6, 2012.

The winner gets to be the coolest person in school.

So Done

It's been a long year with my students since October. They came with a bad reputation, and except for a few weeks early in the year, they lived up to it.

You know, let me just insert here that sad truth about this rough class we've had. Not all of them are awful. In fact, there are so many who are darling and wonderful, but they are overshadowed. A class is determined by its worst students, no? You know it's so true.

Apathy has been a major battle all year. Although I do not have too many students who are failing, I have far too many who have Cs and Ds--and not because it is beyond their ability levels. For most of the year, the apathy has resulted in missing assignments, and worse yet, missing final writing assessments and major projects. Those students made the ones who turned in poor quality work look like geniuses. Such frustrating performance for an accelerated class.

Two of my classes are difficult to manage. Of course, one of them is my largest, and there are no more seats available for segregation. Not that it would matter. In that particular class, there are so many chatty Charlies and Cathies that I've given up on any useful seating configuration, except for five, whom you might think I pick on if you walked into my class, but they absolutely have to stay away from each other. That particular class has produced a record number of parent conferences, and for the most part, it has made no difference in anything. Despite all of our efforts, those students are just difficult...immature...distracted--super exasperating!

No joke, I am just plain mean to some of the students. I don't know what else you would expect of me after all we've been through. It would be nice if I could rise above to that teacher quality that makes me a super-being, but I'm just done with it all. My restraint in not screaming, "STFU!" and throwing actual daggers--not just the ones with my eyes--should be good enough. And what does mean look like? From the time they walk in my classroom, my foot is on their backs. Not literally of course. At this point in the year, they do not even have a chance to do the right thing before I assume they will do wrong. Don't shake your head and think, "She is creating the behavior. She should encourage them to do the opposite, and they will." Yeah, well, the psychological ship sank a while ago, and I'm in dying a slow death on a half-inflated life boat.

Oh, but wait! I see land in the horizon! Get me off this boat! HELP ME! Bring margaritas!

Yesterday, the students were working in groups to revise their last writing project and a few students asked me to sign their yearbooks, and so I passed mine around, too. It was a low-key day. I was cringing, hoping that nobody wrote something mean that would ruin the rest of my year, but nobody did. Some of my biggest irritants wrote long, sentimental notes about how they my class was really one of their favorites--even if they didn't do everything they should have... even if I did constantly yell at them...even if I did make them stand because they liked to sleep in class..even though they didn't get good grades, they learned new things. They thanked me for being a good teacher. They told me they would miss me.

Man, do I feel terrible for my animosity toward them at this time of the year.

Wait? Is this a manipulative trick orchestrated by students who use their intellect for evil? Let's get even for her being mean to us. Let's make her think everything was okay! Ten years from now she'll remember me for being one of her best!

I'm just paranoid. They're kids. They'll mature someday.

So, I guess I'll try to be more patient in the next 8 days.

Try.

Speak Up!

Did you see that post that took me three days to finish? The one about my students who were too shy to record their voices for their public service announcements during class so they decided to come to an after school work session where there were over 40 students with the same idea?

Didn't see it?

It was hilarious.

And frustrating.

Oy, this gig is rough sometimes.

That was the topic of the post, but now it's how much the technology gods must hate me. Seriously, where did that post go? I saved it--actually hit the SAVE button despite the fact that Blogger automatically saves--a few times this afternoon. When I finished, I pushed the bright orange PUBLISH POST button. I've done this before.

Yeah. Seriously. Technology gods have not been smiling on us this week, but I blamed my students for procrastinating. It hasn't been terrible, but I can tell you that live without wireless Internet is just not as much fun. Sometimes it's crippling.

In anyway case, podcasts are over. I'm thinking about blogging with my yearbook kiddos the rest of the year, but it's been a few years since I tried that, and it didn't go very well. I have a different group, though. A great, interesting, creative bunch of students who will be back next year. I'm going to take a leap of faith. Or stupidity.

That's the news from HappyChyck's World.

School's Not a Buffet

Hitting the ground running today so I can save my students from themselves. I hate that duty.

When I was out of the classroom 1 1/2 weeks ago (seems so long ago), I gave some assessments. One was a chart for students to map out some cause and effects of the novel. The other was an essay relating their own lives to the essential question of the unit. Each one was given in one day and was to be collected the same day. The sub knew this, and the writing assignment even stated that it was due at the end of class. Imagine my shock when I found that some students didn't turn it in. Thus, these students have Fs on assessments. No big deal? Assessments account for 50% of their grades.

I think the sub factor played a part in this crisis, but I'm mostly blaming the students. When the sub asked for papers to be passed forward, why did they think they had the option to not follow instructions? It could have easily happened with me standing at the front of the room, collecting their work just before the bell because I wanted to give them as much time as possible.

I'm calling this the buffet mentality that my students have:

I'll do this work but not that work.
That looks yucky, so I think I'll skip it.
I took bite, but I'm just going to throw the rest away.
That work is good. Can I have extra?

Oh, and because I found two charts with the exact same answers, let me add:

Can I have some of yours?

I should just say, "Your parents are paying the same price no matter how much you 'eat.'"

I can already anticipate those who threw theirs away are going to be hungry now that the meal is over. The parents will probably wonder why their kids didn't get enough. My administrator will probably wonder how they could walk in, sit down, not be a happy little consumer. Did I not serve them?

Sure, I served the picky little ones. Apparently I'm not allowed to force-fed them, so what can I do?

Detention. You will sit there until you finish.

(That's a battle of wills to take on, thus a rotten day for me...)

Bring Your Brain to School, Okay?

Today we reviewed compare/contrast essays today because for their monthly reading project, students have to write an essay comparing an aspect of their books to something else. I gave students several thing that they could compare, but I still had a couple of students ask if they could compare things other than what I was offering. Although some of them had good ideas, such as comparing two characters in the book, I asked them to stick to the seven possible comparisons I offered.

One student asked if he could do a different comparison that was not as brilliant:

"Could I compare the paperback to the hardback?"

I took a deep breath before I made my snide remark. I looked toward the back of the room where there was a parent volunteer and bit my tongue from delivering the thoughts that instantly popped into my head: "No, you #?#*$ idiot!"

Instead, I smiled at the student and said, "No, let's just stick to the options I've given you. But, do you think you would have much to compare between the paperback and hardback?"

Behind the student, his classmates rolling their eyes.

He answered, "Well, I guess not."

"And why is that?" I asked.

He looked a little stumped.

"Because it's the same book, right?" I prompted.

A light bulb went off above his head, "Oh yeah!"

(Face palm by teacher.)

Fantastic or Craptastic Year Ahead?

This is a little note to myself on my desk, and today after I came back from meeting with some colleagues, I found all tagged up. Another prankster colleague is surely the culprit, but it did make me take pause.

It's been a hard week.

It's felt like three weeks.

Thank goodness for a three-day weekend.

Middle School Drama

One of the things I dislike about teaching middle school is that sometimes the teachers start acting like the students they teach.

Although I have come to terms with being a middle school teacher, there are still days I don't know why I would work in an atmosphere I did not enjoy as a teenager. Why would I subject myself to that daily misery?

I have a few friends whom I often remind, "Just because we teach in middle school does not mean we need to act like middle schoolers." Regardless of middle school atmosphere or not, the truth of the matter is that in any workplace, there will always be people who do not get along. As I tell my own students when they have to work together, that's life in the real world. Personally, I try not to get sucked up into drama and disputes (which doesn't mean I don't casually bitch about work like everyone else), but when I have friends who are suffering through disputes and drama, of course, I'm in. Kind of. It's so much like my own adolescence. Sheesh, I hate conflict! I will defend my friends, but I can get along with a lot of different people. And those different people don't always get along.

So what am I to do? I do as little as possible. Sometimes I have to give lip service. Sometimes I try to bring enlightenment to my different friends about the other friends of mine they don't like.

"I just get the vibe that Martha doesn't like me," says Gertrude.

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"She's always just so cold toward me. Always acts like she doesn't have the time of day for me," confessed Gertrude.

Oh, cripes! Could it be true? My two friends Gertrude and Martha are enemies?

"You know, Martha isn't someone who really dislikes people she doesn't really know that well. She's just kind of shy at times."

Is that a good enough save? What if Martha really doesn't like Gertrude? She doesn't even really know Gertrude! Am I going to soon be eating lunch alone because two of my friends can't get along?

But they do get along. Thank goodness for that. The issue of dislike is probably imagined. Stupid middle school adulthood insecurities.

It's when they don't get along when it's miserable. Who can I talk to? What if they talk about each other to me? Can I remain neutral about the conflict while still being a good friend? If I show too much solidarity with one or the other, will I end up on the outside? You know, like that time in 7th grade when I discovered that a triad of girl besties will only end in tears. Or will it be like high school where I floated from clique to clique, never fitting in anywhere?

My dad would probably say, "Just do your job." Yes, that's the best solution. But should I be anti-social? Be the eccentric teacher down the hallway everybody talks about. I'd like to think that I walk such a line (tightrope?) that few people have much to say about me.

Flying under the radar in neutral territory.
Not as easy as you'd think.

Never Underestimate the Power of Stickers

I remember that moment in my second year of teaching when one of my freshmen asked, "Why don't you ever give us stickers?"

Several students agreed, nodding their heads, "Yeah! Stickers!"

"Stickers?" I said, wrinkling my nose, "For what?"

"You know, like when we do good on something."

"What? Are you kidding me? This is high school! You want me to put stickers on your papers?" I could not believe this craziness.

Many of the students were enthusiastic at the idea of stickers.

So, I bought stickers. I'm not really that cutesy, but making the transition to stickers was not so tough. I'm kind of a smiley face fan. I used stickers for special occasions, for example, when they received a good score on a test. Or sometimes I would pass out stickers when homework wasn't being completed. I was always shocked when even the macho boy athletes would beg for stickers. And then the next day more people would have homework...

I know it's dirty and wrong to bribe like that, but it's a freakin' STICKER! If it works...

I even started doing other cutesy stuff like stamping things with scented ink, and sending out smiley face postcards for students performing well in class. Those postcards were a pretty big deal! Shocked, shocked, shocked, how much those teens like that stuff.

Now that I am at a middle school, I still use stickers, but mostly for reading logs.

Today, I had every intention of going around to the students to check to see that they are staying up on this long-term writing project we are doing with The Diary of Anne Frank, which is also set up like a diary. Unfortunately, I ran out of time in a few of my classes. I had no intention of giving them grades yet--I just wanted to see that they had the 5 entries that we've completed so far.

In 5th hour, several of the students were put out that I was not going to be able to look at their journals, although I had already shared with them that I wasn't going to put it into the grade book anyway. According to the clock, I only had 5 minutes, so I said, "Okay, if anybody wants to show me that you've completed your entries, I'll give you a frog sticker." This appeased the few who wanted me to follow through on my plan, but it also compelled more students than I thought to take their laptops back out to show me their work.

Several wanted a sticker although they had not completed all the work: "See, Miss--I've done almost 5. Okay, only really 3, but can I have a sticker?"

They wanted a sticker.

A sticker.

A STICKER!

It's not even a very big sticker!

More than decade later after I first encountered it, this phenomenon never ceases to amaze me.

Let's Do the Time Warp Again

On Friday, we had a fun dress day: Nerd Day!

Since our students have to wear collared shirts (most wear polos) in a choice of only a few colors, I think they already look pretty nerdy, but that's a different story. Also, some teachers viewed this day as a little insensitive to real nerds, but that's a different story, too. The kids were also off-the-hook all day, which I guess isn't technically scientific data on how uniforms make a difference in education, but that is , again, a different story.

Here's the real story for today:

Students were encouraged to dress nerdy, but they also had the opportunity to be out of our school's strict dress code. So, many students dressed in their best normal clothes, which I guess is what would be fashionable nowadays.

The whole day was a mind trip to me. Most students dressed like Steve Urkel if they were nerdy, and the rest of them looked like they were straight out of the 80's, but apparently, they weren't participating in a dress-up day.

I had a hard time telling who was intentionally looking goofy and who was being fashionable.

Large plaid? Really?

Leggings? Seriously? Well, I guess they look best on middle school girls anyway.

Neon colors? Could I get some Ray Bans, please?

All we're missing are some bangs to heaven.

I'm so old and out-of-touch...

Making Five Points

Melissa over at The Scholastic Scribe had a fun meme the other day that she invited all her readers to participate in. I could use a kick in the rear for some topics, so I begged her to give me some inspiration.

The Process

• She gave me 5 random well-thought out words for me to reflect upon.
• It is my job to say something profound about these topics. Some of them are tricky, so profound is probably not going to happen on all the topics.
• If any of my three readers would like to participate in this meme, please comment and I'll swing by your blog and leave you with 5 words.

The Product

Middle School
I've written about crazy middle school life several times over the years. I think I'm better suited to teaching high school, but I like the school, program, and level of students I teach at my middle school, so I've stayed there for far longer than I thought I would--or could!

I think the hardest thing about teaching 8th grade is that the students are at such varied developmental levels. Some of them are so mature that I forget how young they are, while some are so immature, I can't believe they've even made it to 8th grade! Immaturity isn't always a bad thing, though. I think it's hard growing up in today's world, so if some of them are able to maintain some innocence, I'd like to encourage that! What's tough about teaching this age is trying to keep it real with them without scaring or scarring them!

I think the best stories come from daily life, so I think a review of some crazy times would be most entertaining.

• Did you know that a lot of teenagers actually like their parents and try to please them? It's true! I know I shouldn't, but I help them keep this secret.
• These middle schoolers are great philosophers! Some of them have already figured out the secrets of life and relationships. They really do have deep thoughts--just listen to them.
• As mature as they can be, they still cling to childhood.
  
• As childish as they can be, they like to mimic adults.

Middle school is the biggest mind trip for everyone involved, but I'm starting to catch onto their humor:

Reading
Read is my drug. If I don't get my frequent doses--in an written or electronic form, I start to get twitchy, itchy, and cranky.

Some low-grade read get me by from day to day, but at least twice a month, I have to have a fix of some entertaining fiction. A few times a year, when I have more time, I try to overdose on books, thinking it might get me through when reading time is scarce, but it really doesn't.

This summer I've have tried to overdose a few times, but I've only had hit after hit of low-grade read. It sucks. That low-grade leaves no residue of euphoria that the good stuff does.

At any time, if you'd like to see my latest brain candy, just check out my Shelfari bookcase to the left. And if you want to read something more inspiring about reading, avoid any posts about my quest to earn my masters in reading, and instead, check out this more entertaining post about books from 2006.

Traveling
Miss Teacha was very anxious to hear about my unconnected vacation in July. It was a bit unnerving knowing that I would be at least four days without Internet, and there was also a possibility I would not have cell phone service either.

Initially, I was a little stressed out because I started a class on the day I left for vacation, but I was able to contact the instructor where I basically said, "Sorry I'll be out of contact for several days. Going to visit Grandma. It is what it is." I didn't end up having any penalties to my grade because I was able to catch up when I came out of the woods. Whew!

I was also a bit nervous thinking that because I spend so much time connected that I might find myself going through withdrawls. How humiliating it would be if I were addicted to the Internet! How stupid would I be if I broke out in cold sweats if my Blackberry had no bars. I might be a dork, but I didn't want to be a Super Dork.

Guess what? No Internet! No cell phone service! We didn't even have a land line in our motel. Not that there aren't landlines in town...just none at the Pierce Motel.

It was peaceful.
(And not as bad as it looks.)
I liked it a lot.

Yearbook
As big as a pain in the arse yearbook is, it has also opened doors for me over the years.

Way back when I was still in college, hoping to graduate and get a job in my hometown, I discovered a way to get my foot in the door. I knew the yearbook adviser (who also taught English) at the junior high, and she agreed to let me come in a few times a week to observe and volunteer so I could learn a little about yearbook. This was a brilliant idea because my friend was going to be moving at the end of the year. A job opening!

Perfect idea, except that after the yearbook teacher left, the district didn't refill her position. I still don't know how that was justified, as class sizes were already upward of 40, but what could I do?

I was hired for my first teaching position in the middle of August, five days before school started. I always felt like I barely landed the position, which was hardly a cherry job to begin with, but I was desperate. I don't know for sure, but I think the principal hired me because I said I'd do anything. And since my resume showed me to be quite the jack-of-all-trades, I found myself teaching high school English and publications. Obviously, I had no idea what I was doing.

I did a pretty good job, but did I mention, it's a pain in the arse?

After I traded schools, I swore off yearbook. And that lasted one year. The yearbook adviser bugged me for half the year to take over yearbook the next year, but I refused. When she left at the end of June to teach at another school, I reconsidered my options. She had a better schedule than I did--even with yearbook. So, I went to the office and told the administrators that I'd like to be considered for her position. I was pretty lucky that they didn't laugh me out of the office because I'd had such a horrible year that I nearly quit teaching--in the middle of the year. I ate humble pie, acknowledged my utter failure, tried to convince them I had once been a good teacher and I thought I could be again, and then...I reminded them that I had 7 years of experience as yearbook adviser.

And here I am. Middle school yearbook is a cakewalk. Trying to publish middle school newspaper that isn't lame is another story...

Marge Simpson
I don't know much about Marge Simpson. Or any of the Simpsons.

Somehow I was off the planet when the Simpsons became popular, and then I just never watched the show. There's a time in my life, in my early 20's when I didn't have a television, and when I did, I could only pick up PBS, there was no rock station in my hometown (I missed the Nirvana era!), I was working, going to school, playing D & D and being a drama groupie in my free time, and in the middle of that, I became culturally inept in a lot of areas.

Melissa might have thought I was a Simpsons fan because of my banner, which I am super tired of now. Sometimes I collect avatars to use in ComicLife. Fun, huh?

Phew! So there are my five subjects, essentially five mini-posts for me. Let me know if you want to play along!

Thanks, Melissa, for getting my brain going!

Bad Beginnings

Pretend you're in a middle school state of mind and step down into the gutter. Not waaaaaay down into the gutter. Just enough.

My students were asked to read a biography or autobiography and give a speech this week. The one thing I noticed about many of the students is that they don't know how to begin a speech. I know we've been over this, and it's not lost on ALL of the students. Some of them have phenomenal, interesting beginnings.

But the others...

"I did my project on..." Past tense? Aren't you giving the presentation right now?

"I did mine on..." Your what?

The very best is when they start off with, "I did..."

As in...

"I did Martin Luther King, Jr."
"I did John F. Kennedy."
"I did Stephen Hawking."
"I did Ronald Reagan."
"I did Adolf Hitler."

Really? Ew! Work on your beginnings! Or people might get the wrong idea.

TherMOMeter

My yearbook editor follows me into the work room, "Miss, you're a mom, right?"

"Uhm, yeah."

She stands right in front of me, "Do you think I have a fever?"

"Geez! I'm not that kind of mom!" Really. Ask my stepkids. Any kind of sickness receives Airborne and a command to go to bed early to sleep it off.

"Could you just feel my forehead?"

I sigh and test her forehead, "I don't know if you have a fever! Seriously! I didn't actually give birth. I don't have those kinds of skills."

"But, Miss!"

I sigh, "Fine!" I touch her forehead, and then mine, and then hers again. "I don't know! Maybe it's a little warm. Do you want to just go to the nurse?"

"Yea, maybe that's what I should do."

"You think?" I bet the nurse has a thermometer! But if she's a mom, maybe she just uses her hand.

8th Grade Wisdom

As part of the final exam, I always ask the 8th graders to write a letter for in the incoming 6th graders. Their advice is a nice mix of humorous and profound.

On dress code...

Don’t break the dress code. I know nobody likes it, but we can’t do anything. The only thing you will get is in trouble, and you don’t want to start middle school as a dress code violator. -Peter

Yea, there's nothing worse than a dress code violator--unless you're in one of those girl gangs that are always giving the deans trouble.

On Backpacks...

Please! Remember, don’t have one of those roller backpacks because 8th graders just laugh, laugh, and trip. -Kysha

Don’t get a backpack with wheels on it because it looks stupid. -Apolonio

Students will be able to use lockers at our new school, so I'm also hoping the 6th graders won't feel so compelled to have those lame backpacks.

On Teachers...

There are many great teachers here that know what they are talking about. You should get to know your teachers. If you feel like they aren’t listening, just remember that they have many other students. -Gabi

The teachers care. Don’t let them fool you. They don’t want to see any student fail. They also care about your reputation. They don’t want you to be known as something your not. Just treat them with respect, and you will get some back. -Angela

Wow! Here are some students who have figured out the aliens species known as teachers.

On Classroom Behavior...

It’s okay to be funny, but it’s not cool to be stupid. There is a small line between funny and stupidity. Make sure you don’t cross it. -Mario

Mario was king of walking that line! He was one of the brightest students, but he didn't always perform like it.

On Grades...

Teachers will give you tons of work through the school year. The work they give you is pretty easy. To finish the assignments you just need to think hard. -Nathan

I have always struggled with my grades until I found out that all you need is to turn in all work and pay attention. -Karla

Turn in your work, pay attention, and think hard. It's so easy.

On Your Social Life...

Avoid the drama. -Chelsea

Doesn't that pretty much sum it up?

Just Some Good Advice From the Best...

These two students were leaders in the school and each earned many awards on Awards Night. They also happened to be my favorite students--great personalities with intellect and extreme motivation. Both of them were part of the smiling morning crowd waiting for me each morning. Great kids to start the day with!

In sixth grade it is vital to have good grades, a well mannered attitude, and a personal striving for success in mind. If you think you have all of that, then put it to work and let the teachers know that are you not just “a part of the crowd.” -Daniel

Be yourself. Plain and simple. Don’t change who you are. You yourself are unique, and nothing should ever be done to change that. Learn to express who you are, and love the person you have become! -Nicole

The Stuffed Dog Knows the Truth

During Reading Week our school had Stuffed Animal Day. (We didn't follow the official theme of reading week, in case you're wondering how that fits in.) When I saw the signs around the school, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Seriously! This is middle school! My 8th graders are going to be in high school very soon!

I'm not going to say that I don't dabble in cuteness from time to time. After all, my students did bring in Warm Fuzzies at the beginning of the year. So, in every nook and cranny we have pictures and physical representations of Warm Fuzzies, and in the beginning of the year we used them as reminders on how to treat each other in the classroom. Okay. I know. Pretty icky sweet. But Stuffed Animal Day? Sheesh!

A few students brought stuffed animals, and so did the Student Teacher. She brought in this big, floppy, soft dog...and she hasn't taken it home yet. It's not exactly an oversight, either. Someone is constantly holding onto that dog! I guess there's a big need for hugs in my classroom these days. I'm wondering if I should invest in some cuddly stuffed animals for my room next year.

My students and I are always in this dance where I think they should grow up, but they aren't ready. Then I think they should chill out and just be kids, but they are pushing past me to grow up too fast. My suspicions are that these struggles we have about whether they are kids are not are probably internal struggles they have within themselves on a pretty regular basis.

Gotta Have Thick Skin

I found out about a video that one of my students made in my class using his Mac and uploaded to YouTube. Great, huh?

This video is basically a student sitting in class recording himself doing nothing. You know, because school--and my class--is so boring. There are some other antics, like he makes weird noises and faces and tries to make it look like he's working.

From my personal perspective, I'm afraid I look like a bad teacher. Do students really have nothing to do and can just play on computers all day? Snort! As if! Sure, there's down time for a few students when their work is done, but if you didn't know any better, you might think that he had absolutely nothing to do. This particular bored student was suppose to be working on a project--a project for which he ended up earning a C.

What's that about boredom being a personal issue?

If I would have seen his behaviors from across the room, I would have thought he was mostly on task and just doing middle school boy things. Do you know any middle school boys who don't make random noises? And mostly on task...well, this kid is not your type A honor student by any stretch. He's a C student who falls into the D as often than he climbs to a B range. You know what this looks like right? A pokey student who works but doesn't make much progress...

So, if you see that thrilling video, go ahead and judge me. Seriously, where was I? Not standing over this kid's shoulder, that's for sure. The kid knew where I was while he was taping himself instead of working. It's evident by his behaviors.

Ha, ha, kid. You pulled one over on the teacher by taping yourself being off task.

Just thank goodness I wasn't the one caught on tape looking like a fool.

Breaking the Tension

"Don't forget that this is all the space you'll have to write your final essay," I walked slowly around the room showing the answers sheet that students will have to write their essays on tomorrow. Many students are concerned that they will run out of room on the paper before they get all of their thoughts down.

Victor raised his hand, "Uhm. Can we, uh, use a different font?"

I grinned and several students turned to look at poor, confused Victor. It's a hand-written exam. What's he talking about? He stumbled, "I mean, uh, the size."

"Yes, Victor, you can use a smaller font, but I'd say no smaller than 10 point. People need to read it!"

Jason joined in the joke: "Should we use Times New Roman?"

"Sure."

"What about Helvetica."

"No."

"But--"

"No, Helvetica is a san serif font. Use it for titles, not for large sections of text."

Sarah also piped in, "Well, what about Comic Sans?"

"I suppose if you must," I said bringing our silliness to a close. "Any other questions before we begin?"

My computer-dependent students chuckled at our joking before picking up their pencils and beginning their writing assessments.