May 16, 2007

Scenes from My Teacher Life

Probably not coming to a theater near you. Probably not even on the Lifetime channel, either.

A Quick Question the Day Rough Drafts Are Due

Student: Miss, is it okay that my title is my thesis statement?
Teacher: No.
Student: But I ask a question and then the rest of the essay answers it. It’s what my paper is about.
Teacher: That’s nice, but the title and the thesis are different things. It’s like saying your name and the period are the same. Did you actually state your thesis in your first paragraph?
Student: Well, no. It’s my title.
Teacher: That’s nice, but you have to also state it in your essay. The title is something separate.
Blah, blah, blah. Back and forth. Student does not get it. Wants me to say what she has done wrong is okay.
Teacher: Just turn it in.
Student: So, it’s okay.
Teacher: No. It’s not.

How Many Days of School?

Teacher: Be sure to turn in your reflection logs.
Sounds of students sucking in air. Obviously many have forgotten.
Random Student: Oh yeah. I need to do that.
Teacher: I’m sure it’s not a problem since you’ve doing it all along anyway.
Much eye-rolling from the students.
The teacher participates in transparent self-talk. The class is used to seeing such theatrics when the teacher is exasperated and is quite unmoved as the teacher has a conversation with herself.
Teacher: Note to self: the reflection logs are not working well despite the fact that this is the third check and we have gone over examples in class. Should we throw them out? Hmmmm. No. Try something different.
Random student: Does that mean we don’t have to do them anymore?
Teacher: NO! It is a very powerful tool—oh never mind!
Random Student: Does that mean we don’t have to do it?
Teacher: Oh, no. You still have to do it. I’m just not going to explain to you again why the reflection journals have great educational ramifi—seriously just never mind. They're due today.
Silent, blank stares from the students.


Kids Are So Strange

There are students waiting outside the teacher's classroom, and as she walks from the parking lot she sees one student standing on the edge of the sidewalk, obviously waiting for the teacher with her arms outstretched.

Teacher: Uh, what are you doing?
Her friends giggle. She just stands there grinning with her arms outstretched.
Teacher: Are you going to hug me or help me carry some things.
Student: I want a hug.
Teacher: Okaaaaaaaaaaay. Did you want that reciprocated because my hands are full…
And then the student puts her arms around the teacher and gives her an awkward hug.
Student: Ha! I hugged a teacher!

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