Middle School Drama

One of the things I dislike about teaching middle school is that sometimes the teachers start acting like the students they teach.

Although I have come to terms with being a middle school teacher, there are still days I don't know why I would work in an atmosphere I did not enjoy as a teenager. Why would I subject myself to that daily misery?

I have a few friends whom I often remind, "Just because we teach in middle school does not mean we need to act like middle schoolers." Regardless of middle school atmosphere or not, the truth of the matter is that in any workplace, there will always be people who do not get along. As I tell my own students when they have to work together, that's life in the real world. Personally, I try not to get sucked up into drama and disputes (which doesn't mean I don't casually bitch about work like everyone else), but when I have friends who are suffering through disputes and drama, of course, I'm in. Kind of. It's so much like my own adolescence. Sheesh, I hate conflict! I will defend my friends, but I can get along with a lot of different people. And those different people don't always get along.

So what am I to do? I do as little as possible. Sometimes I have to give lip service. Sometimes I try to bring enlightenment to my different friends about the other friends of mine they don't like.

"I just get the vibe that Martha doesn't like me," says Gertrude.

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"She's always just so cold toward me. Always acts like she doesn't have the time of day for me," confessed Gertrude.

Oh, cripes! Could it be true? My two friends Gertrude and Martha are enemies?

"You know, Martha isn't someone who really dislikes people she doesn't really know that well. She's just kind of shy at times."

Is that a good enough save? What if Martha really doesn't like Gertrude? She doesn't even really know Gertrude! Am I going to soon be eating lunch alone because two of my friends can't get along?

But they do get along. Thank goodness for that. The issue of dislike is probably imagined. Stupid middle school adulthood insecurities.

It's when they don't get along when it's miserable. Who can I talk to? What if they talk about each other to me? Can I remain neutral about the conflict while still being a good friend? If I show too much solidarity with one or the other, will I end up on the outside? You know, like that time in 7th grade when I discovered that a triad of girl besties will only end in tears. Or will it be like high school where I floated from clique to clique, never fitting in anywhere?

My dad would probably say, "Just do your job." Yes, that's the best solution. But should I be anti-social? Be the eccentric teacher down the hallway everybody talks about. I'd like to think that I walk such a line (tightrope?) that few people have much to say about me.

Flying under the radar in neutral territory.
Not as easy as you'd think.

Oh no! Not the Poetry!

By the end of last quarter I had fallen completely out of love with my creative writing class, and I was crossing my fingers some of them would not come back for the 3rd quarter. Well, thank goodness I have been living clean because my class, although it has about half the old students, has a fresh new attitude.

It's not perfect. I have a loud-mouth (sometimes nasty) girl whom I booted out of my class last year, but once we established in the first couple of days that I would not hold a grudge, and she was able to tell her victim story (about how I wronged her) to anyone who would listen, things have been going okay. She still irritates me, but she is one of the best students, so we are getting by.

But--the rest of them! Wow!

I started off the quarter with poetry, and with this crazy, weird activity called Poetry Poker. My approach is: JUST HAVE FUN WITH THE WORDS! You know, I just about lost them the first night as they struggled to create these poems that didn't make much sense based on the hand they were dealt, but after a while, some of them started creating these incredibly poetic lines. Just one line of brilliance!

Every night, they start off by reading the poetry they wrote the night before, and then I introduce a new poem type. We talk about it, read a few examples, and then they brainstorm a word bank. For the rest of the class period, they fiddle around with the writing. To me, the amazing thing is that they are actually doing it.

Oh, I have these boys...they resist every night. In fact, there isn't a boy in that class who doesn't moan and groan, "Miss! How much longer are we going to be writing poetry?" But then, the next thing you know, they are putting words on paper and it's not bad stuff!

Most nights, it's not brilliant, but there are glimmers of brilliance in a few lines.

Last night, while everyone was discussing what colors their personalities and moods were, trying to express in their poems, I went back to my desk to work on a few things. They were engaged. And here came Marcus, dragging his chair right into my little desk space, to sit next to me. He has been the most resistant, yet when he gets in a groove, he starts writing some deep stuff. But last night, he cracked me up. He wanted to do it, but he didn't want to sit with the other boys or one of the girls whom he has been acquaintances with during the whole year. He wanted my attention; he wanted me to be his writing partner.

So, I coached him along, and before too long, here came Aaron, a student who has been in and out of my classes for the last three years, but earlier this year, we became closer when he was in my proficiency writing class. He was nearly finished and wanted me to read it, but instead of handing it across the desk for me to read, he crowded in behind my little desk area, too. Geez boys!

Apparently, they are getting the getting the feeling of intimacy that poetry--writing in general--can bring. When one shares his inner most thought with his strongest words, it's like opening a piece of the soul. Delicate and vulnerable one might feel, yet there's something about the sharing that becomes rewarding.

So, I guess when I start invading their personal mental space, they feel free to invade my personal physical space. As much as it surprises me, I don't mind. They are all reaping the rewards of a little time to think on a different level. I just hope they can tolerate it a little longer. More good stuff is to come!

Upgrade Them, Please!

Lately the only question that has been on my mind is:

"Why do I have to do all the thinking?"

I've about had it with everyone under the age of 19. My middle school students...my high school students...my own children...that teen at the grocery store listening to her music player full blast without headphones. All of them.

You see, I'm beginning to wonder if I have such excellent common sense skills that nobody can hold a candle to me or if somehow the newer models of human beings aren't coming equipped with a good common sense detector. Can we get an upgrade on that somewhere?

In any case, I'm simply exhausted from having to think for myself and everyone else, too.

It's Been a Lovely Time, But Now Back to the Grind

Over the break, I...

• read 6 books (nothing profound, but mostly enjoyable)
  
• rediscovered a hobby
• spent time with my parents
• caught up on life with my best friend (the one from middle school)
• cooked real meals
• made some white trash goodies: saltine cookies and peanut butter sandwiches
  
• found two restaurants I liked, including a take-out pizza place down the street (essential for life, right?)
  
• ate lots of turkey (It was only a 14 lb turkey, but it's STILL not finished!)
  
• did about 25 hours of work (needed to do more, but everyone is damn lucky I did that much)
• went to bed early A LOT
• woke up naturally and drank a leisurely cup of coffee every morning
  
• discovered two new shows (to me): Pawn Stars and Criminal Minds
• de-stressed completely
  

I wish I would have...

• caught up on the feeds in my Bloglines account
• read even more books
• see a few movies
• napped more
• thought of a way to stretch my vacation out even more

Oh, well! It is what it is. I'm content.

Onward!

Wow! Was 2009 a crazy year!
A little bad--
or maybe it was simply frustrating--
but there was plenty of good, too!

I'm glad to be through it and ready for a new year!

Happy 2010 everyone!

I hope you have memorable year full of endless opportunities!

My Letter to Momma Bear

Dear Momma Bear,

I understand that you are fiercely protective of your little cub. I don't blame you; it's a dangerous world out there and he has important places to go in his life.

The thing is, your cub has been wandering about the forest too much lately. Not a lot. Just enough that he is in a little trouble. It's okay. He was just testing his boundaries, and he now knows he should stay on the path you have made for him.

Yes, I know he's been wandering just a wee bit, but I have a lot of little animals to watch each day. His little wanderings have been noted, and I have set him back on track. He's a good little cub. He really is going to get back on track.

I know you think I am to blame, but we both have the same goal for your little cub. He does have a mind of his own, and he made his choices. Just because I have given him a glimpse of his possible consequences as a reminder for getting off his designated path does not mean he need actually suffer the consequences. It's just a warning, like a sign that says, "Danger ahead!"

Despite what you say about me--yes word gets around the forest--I like your little cub. He is one of my favorites! And no, I certainly would not have anything against little cubs at all! Not even bears! I like all the animals the same, no matter the fur or size!

But frankly, Momma Bear, if you continue to bare your teeth to me, when I am only trying to help your cub, I will surely start to keep my distance from him. Is that really what you want?

Ms. HappyChyck
Wildlife Management & Education

Now Do You Understand Why I'm a Teacher?

I fell out of touch with my best friend from childhood when I was in college. We became BFFs the summer before middle school and stayed that way all through high school--even after she moved to a different city a few hours away during our sophomore year.

There is no exact moment when our friendship ended--that I can recall anyway. We started to grow apart about the time she voiced her disdain for my career choice. You know, being a teacher. We teachers (and teachers-to-be) have a hard enough time in society that we don't need the flak from our friends and family members. Of course, she became a chemical engineer, and right out of college her starting salary was about $30,000 more than mine--especially in Utah, where at the time, had I been able to get a job there 13 years ago, I would have been making about $18,000 a year. (I did much better by moving to Nevada.)

I guess our perspectives about the world were different by that time in our lives. She thought a career like hers was better than mine, and I suggested to her that she would never have gotten where she was had it not been for teachers. She was smart, and I'll admit she was always smarter than I was--especially in math and science--but she didn't come out of the womb ready to be a chemical engineer.

It's hard to say what was going on at her end that she would let our friendship fade. My own motives may not have been all about my career choice, as I lost touch with nearly all of my high school friends by the time I was in my mid-20's, but I know I have always felt particularly bitter about her non-support of me.

We reconnected about six years ago, but it was through just a few fleeting e-mails, and in the end, I felt her judgment through the great tubes of the Internet. The details are not the point of this post, though.

Just last year, we reconnected, once again, through the wonder of Facebook. I'm a major fan of Facebook, as I was of MySpace, too, because it brings me great joy to see how old friends are doing. When she requested my friendship, I was initially reluctant because I have this damn grudge. I am not even one who holds grudges, but this one is deep. After many weeks of ignoring the request, I decided there was no harm.

We don't talk. She's a friend whose updates I read, and only occassional check the "like" button or perhaps will include a lighted-hearted comment about something, like, "Way to go on running your marathon!"

Last night she posted her thoughts about the importance of educating women, after listening to a podcast where Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea. If you're not familiar with what he advocates, here's what he has to say about the value of educating girls, in reference to his work in Pakistan and Afghanistan:

“In Africa, they say, ‘Educate a boy and you educate an individual. Educate a girl and you educate a community.’” Several global studies show that sending girls to school significantly decreases infant and maternal mortality rates, helps stabilize population growth, and improves the quality of health and life for everyone in the community. And, Mortenson emphasizes, educated mothers are less likely to condone their sons’ joining terrorist groups. He sees a direct link between building schools in an unstable part of the world and security at home.

You know I want to comment on that so badly. This is a concept I use everyday with my alternative education girls, right here in America, especially the ones who are pregnant or have children. I tell them how proud I am that they are trying to make a better life for their families and how important it is for them to be educated mothers. It is so hard for them to stay in school when they have so many responsibilities. Sure, as moms, they won't fight terrorism, but they will fight poverty, broken families, racism, and perhaps even violence. Their circumstances are real and right here.

My middle school girls are typically in much better situations, but right now we happen to be doing a Pennies for Peace campaign, which stems from Mortenson's work, and whenever I can, throughout the year, I emphasize to all my students how blessed we are to live in a country where all students, including girls, have all the opportunities they could ever imagine to have an education. The focus on global awareness in program helps them think about how they might make a difference in the world, in places where there are wonderful people, wonderful cultures, but terrible circumstances.

What I like to say to my friend:

Your revelations about the world saturate my daily life. The power of education, which you find to be a profound thought, is the force that drives my life's work.

I am a teacher.