I imagine it barely breathing in a hospital bed, resting peacefully, experiencing no pain. It's a little lonely because friends (you) and family (me) don't come by anymore, but it's not ready to die. As it is unconscious, it cannot say anything to friends and family about how it doesn't want to die just yet. Life has been good, yes, but does it have to be over?
If I had more compassion, I'd pull the plug, and let it sink into the Internet abyss where abandoned blogs go to die, but I'm not ready.
Instead, I visit when I can, waiting for some new special treatment that can breath new life into my poor blog. Maybe it just needs continued care, but maybe it needs a life transformation--a rebirth.
For now, all I can do it watch helplessly, waiting for something--anything to help, but deep down, I carry the guilt knowing I am the reason it is dying.
There is so much keeping from here at this point in my life. To sum it up, I am overwhelmed and always days behind in life. The factors:
- grad school (3 1/2 more classes--wahoo!)
- working every night at alt ed high school (used to be just 2 days a week)
- I'm not on autopilot in my classroom like I was last year. New lessons. More planning.
- IB authorization is starting to hurt.
- I'm an English teacher. Too much to read.
- buying and moving into a new home (closing next week!)
- I'M TOO OLD TO KEEP THIS PACE!
I'm still around. I read my feeds when I can. I have 636 unread edublogger posts in my Bloglines account this morning, but I need to get to work on grad homework, grading papers, and doing some yearbook stuff so my staff isn't sitting around doing nothing because I'm unorganized.
How I long for my semi-busy life rather than this frantic, unrealistic one I'm living now.
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