April 8, 2007

Wearing My Running Shoes This Week

For most of the evening I've been having anxiety attacks as I've been thinking about the week ahead.

I've been trying not to kick myself for doing virtually nothing to ease my suffering for the upcoming week while I was on vacation.

I was taking a break.

Actually, the next two months might have been more comfortable had I done any planning ahead during my vacation, but I was taking a break.

My husband just shakes his head because he's heard this story over and over.

God forbid I should take a guilt-free break.

At least I'm better than I used to be. I've worked through many vacations. I've graded papers and projects during my vacations. Not this time, though. I have a nice aged stack of projects waiting on my desk.

Oh, the agony!

I did spend time reading and planning for a novel that I have now decided is not good enough to study with my class. It was casual, and on my own terms--not like real work. It's all wasted now.


I could have read another piece of brain candy, since I only fit in a few pieces while I was taking my little break from ed-u-ca-tion.

Tomorrow is non-stop. I've set the alarm back to 5:15 am. My prep times will be filled with, well, prep work. No sharing Spring Break stories with my department mates. Stepson has an appointment right after school. And, Monday night means, double the suffering with night school.

No worries. I'll make it through. I have to. My parents are coming to visit later this week. That means a weekend with no work because I'll be too busy spending time with my family.

The path is getting steeper. My mess is getting deeper.

I'm already on survival mode until June 8th.

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