"Miss! Patricia's Underwear Sings!"

Just when I think I've seen and heard it all--I dare you to make me laugh in class--some girl wears underwear that plays music. Is this some kind of new i-pod invention? Hey, now that would be cool! But no, I don't think it is. It must be some sort of novelty, like singing greeting cards. And probably some Valentine's Day gimmick.

All I know is that's the last thing I expected to disrupt my class today. And I expect plenty.

Flatulence? Sure.

Tripping over a backpack in the middle of the floor? Almost daily.

Accidently flinging your pen cap across the room? It happens.

But having your underwear start singing? Who expects that?

And who would have expected that it would make me take pause so I could laugh?

I'd like to see any of you keep your decorum with the announcement that one of your student's bloomers is playing a tune. Go ahead. Try it!

Overheard Conversations at the Teacher Inservice

(Names have been protected to save the guilty from detention in the principal's office. )

In whispered tone:

Gertrude: "Why does she only wear black?"
Viola: "Yea, a little color would be nice."
Betty: "And did you notice they have matching hairdos?"
Gertrude: "Yea, everyone in that office does."
Viola: "That's so weird!"
Betty: "Yea, and they all wear those dark suits."
Gloria: "Hmmm. It's like a cult or something."
Viola: "Do you think it's like their dress code or something?"
Betty: "Oh! I'm getting my hair cut this weekend."
Viola: "Why?"
Betty: "I can't stand it anymore. I'm cutting it all off."
Gertrude: "No! It's so nice long! I wish mine were that long."
Betty: "I'm tired of it."
Viola: "Ah."
Betty: "I saw this girl with really cute hair at the store. I wanted to stop and ask her if I could take a picture."
Gloria: "You should have!"
Betty: "It was shoulder length and the ends were kind, you know..."
Viola: "Ragedy."
Betty: "NO!"
Viola: "Jagged."
Betty: "Kind of."
Viola: "What's the term? I know, uhm...razor cut!"
Betty: "That's it!"
Gloria: "You might want to have a better description before you go in.
Betty: "Oh, my hair dresser is great!
Viola: "My hair is razor cut, but it doesn't have the right texture to look jagged.
Gloria: "Where do you go?
Viola: "Oh! What are we suppose to do? Shh!"


A little bit later...practicing a "new" reading strategy:
Viola: "Did you hear what he said? He said he predicted something was going to happen in the story! Sounds like our students! Excellent prediction! I HOPE something is going to happen for goodness sakes."
Gertrude: "I've already read the passage four times."
Viola: "Are you kidding? Don't be such an overachiever."
Gertrude: "I'm bored."
Viola: "Yea, no kidding."
Gertrude: "It's pretty good, but let's hurry. Is it lunch yet?
Betty: "What is she talking about Q1?"
Shrugs all around.
Gertrude: "Oh, I do that!"
Viola: "Yea, it's called Bloom's Taxonomy. They've just given it some other label."
Betty: "More jargon."
Viola: "Do they really think we don't know about Bloom's? Hheeeeellllo! Freshmen in the teacher program know this."
Betty: "Yea, no kidding!"
Betty: "The questions stems are pretty good though, I need a copy of this."
Gertrude: "I have these somewhere."
Viola: "Yea. Me, too. In a little flip book. Exact same format. Same order. Nobody made these up."
Gertrude: "Same old stuff. New name."
Gloria: "How lame.
Viola: "And the pendulum swings."
Betty: "Is it lunch yet?"

My Resolutions

Blah, blah, blah. Do I have to do this? It is, after all, January 7th already. I used to get really into making up resolutions for the new year, but the last few years I haven't even bothered. But then there's some guilt because, well, I'm not perfect. Shocking, isn't it? So, here's a list of improvements that I could make to be a SUPER HUMAN BEING.

1. Lose weight. Duh. Move more. Each more veggies and fruit. Each whole foods instead of processed. Drink more water. Crave less chocolate.
2. Be more finacially responsible. Save. Spend less. Clip more coupons.
3. Have more fun. Laugh. Do things. For cheap, of course.
4. Get organized. Has anyone seen...my desk? Either one?
5. Write in my blog more. Write more, period. But I might as well publish it.
6. Be a more exciting teacher. Create fewer eye rolls in the classroom. If that is at all possible. [eyeroll]
7. Stop stressing out. About everything.
8. Make preparations to go back to school. Need to make more money--who doesn't? Chris will finish his schooling this year. It's my turn.
9. Work less. Or more efficiently. I really can't work less because I'll get behind. That's stressful.
10. Love myself more despite my deficiencies. Duh.